Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You've changed since you got that strap on
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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