Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
