you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
