saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
...so i touched it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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