I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
