SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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