well most of my day revolves around power hour
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
