dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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