school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
