I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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