I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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