This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
