If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
