What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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