He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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