Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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