just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
