i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
soo... how was my night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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