I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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