i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
