His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
