yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
