I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
