All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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