Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
