So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
