What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
