I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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