do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
