Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
operation harelip BJ is a go
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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