What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
