its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
