he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
