Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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