***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
