I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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