Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
