hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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