make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
