I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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