she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
