the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
