well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
