69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
