so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
