just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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