I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
