I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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