yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
