this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
