So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
