i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
