Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
