But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
