You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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