our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
