I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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