I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
