well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
